Emotional crises can happen at any time in our personal lives or at work. Divorce, not getting a promotion, failing at something such as a business, and so on. Life will throw at us several of these and they are great opportunities to learn, but our emotions can reach very dark places. How do we bounce back? How do we show resilience? How do we cope with emotional crises?
In Episode 4 of Beautiful Ghosts (YouTube or website), Mariana summarised some of the tools we use to deal with emotional crises in three bullet points:
- Knowledge
- Practice
- Repetition
Let’s look at them in a bit more detail. Starting with knowledge. Understanding what is happening to you and why you feel the way you feel is a great first step towards dealing with an emotional crisis. There are different ways to gain knowledge and understanding including reading books, therapy, and discussing with people you trust. The first step is being aware of what you are feeling and how you are behaving. Then, search for help from those three sources. When I fell in love while at university, and realising this was not the right person for me, I went to the library and got a book about love (geeky, I know!). It helped me understand that what was happening to me was normal and what to expect.
The second tool is practice. Mariana and Nico like meditation. I like reflection. This will help you both quiet your mind and gain a deeper insight into how you are feeling. I like keeping a reflection diary, but I’m not very good at doing it consistently. Except when I have an emotional crisis. In those situations, I write every day about how I feel and what I can do about it. I wish I had some insights about meditation. I know it is a wonderful practice but I only tried it once for a few days. Listen to the episode for what Mariana and Nico have to say about it.
Finally, repetition. Gaining knowledge and practicing meditation and/or reflection are not silver bullets that will immediately help you overcome the crisis and the negative emotions. It will take time and that’s why we need to keep using those tools over and over again. When I read the book about falling in love, it said that it takes about 3 years to overcome being in love. When I read that, I prepared for the long hold and continued learning and reflecting. Almost exactly three years later I was ready to meet the real love of my life.
We have more examples of how knowledge, practice, and repetition can help overcome emotional crises, whether personal or at work. There are no magic pills, it takes time. But using some of these tools will help you get into a positive mindset and bounce back faster, knowing that these are good learning opportunities with a pay off at the other side.
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