We live in a world of appearances. We also live in a world crowded with lonely people. This is not a coincidence; they are cause and effect. The more we want to appear successful, smart, and special to others, the more we need to put a façade to cover our fears, failures, and feelings. We push other people away from who we really are and create distance. The truth is that if you want to connect, you need to show the real you. You have to embrace vulnerability.
In Episode 5 of Beautiful Ghosts (YouTube or website) we discuss vulnerability. The three of us, Mariana, Nico, and I had similar experiences when we were younger of trying to look strong because we thought being vulnerable was being weak. I remember in my twenties thinking that to attract girls I needed to impress them. That is why my twenties were lonely years. Mariana used to change her school grades from something lower than 9/10 to 10/10 to show her parents. One day the teacher saw the correction and Mariana told her that her sister Daniela had done it. When the teacher confronted Daniela, Daniela cried and begged Mariana to tell the truth, but Mariana did not admit it. Our fear was this “if they see I’m not perfect, that I make mistakes, that I fail, what will they think about me?”. With time, we’ve all opened up because we realised that we don’t need to impress other people, we need to connect with other people. These are some of the most important take-aways about vulnerability:
- When communicating with other people, whether in your personal life or at work, being vulnerable, is sharing your fears, failures, and feelings.
- Being vulnerable will make you human, authentic, and will help you connect. People will not think you are weak, people will think you are real.
- It is okay to ask for help when you need it.
- Failure is okay, you don’t need to hide it, but you don’t need to put yourself down either.
- Vulnerability is easier when you are okay with who you are (we explore this further in the next blog post).
Connecting with other people is the best antidote to loneliness in our personal lives and the path to success in our careers. We can either choose to build a façade in which we are successful, smart, and special, and push people away, or we can choose to communicate our fears, failures, and feelings to connect. Are you with us? Do not impress, connect.
Make an impact,
Pablo
PS: this post was originally published on Beautiful Ghosts